I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
