so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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