mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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