She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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