I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
