Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
