did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
