My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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