69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
