3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
