Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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