Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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