I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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