i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I wish you could order shots online.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
