i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
