you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize