You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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