your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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