Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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