Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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