I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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