So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
