Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
