Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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