We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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