AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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