I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
