So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
