he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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