dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
