White coat. Heels.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
