It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
