His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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