who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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