I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize