It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
