Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I stole a fireplace last night.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize