So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
