and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
