I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
