Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize