Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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