if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
