Buhtt sex?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Randomize
