not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
