my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
