wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
