so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
