I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
