used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
