i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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