youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
