I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
