You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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