So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
