i jhust puked up my retainher.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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