God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
