so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
