ya dads aren't the best wingmen
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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